fuzzynecromancer:

literallyaflame:

when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

This took a different direction than I was expecting.

(via skankiness)

drackir:

weasowl:

20thcenturyvole:

probablybadrpgideas:

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants?
The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name.

And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals - now you have to do us a favor.

And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?”

and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever.

And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.

(via thefernhands)

v

denisvileneuve:

There is a reason this is the last scene in which Okoye appears before the credits roll. It speaks volumes about the power black women possess. Seeing anyone, let alone a black man, submit to a black woman on screen in this way is a rarity.

Gurira thinks the message in that scene is vital for everyone, especially women and girls.

“You expect to use your love for me and our love for each other to actually get me to betray my nation, and I would kill you first. I love that,” she said. “I think women don’t often get to portray that sort of nobility and that sort of integrity, especially [choosing that] over their love.” – Danai Gurira on The Scene™

(via burgertv)

garashirs:

i hate it when people ask “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” like. awfully bold of you to assume i’ve reached peak dumbass.

(via roseroyalty-moving)

hey gang im ordering 14 dollars worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominos

musclemancer87:

vivivictoria:

vivivictoria:

im thorsty


He better not fucking have

image
image

(via thefernhands)

v

imgonnahavealittlecry:

(insp.) 

(via leslie-knopes)

fartgallery:

agent: this is area 51, where the aliens live
me:
cool
agent:
and over there is area 69, where the aliens… uh…
me:
what
agent:
….
me:
what do they do there

(via thefernhands)

kiokushitaka:

icosahedonist:

3 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

8 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

16 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

image

(via roseroyalty-moving)

krwzprtt:

enochian-dick-jokes:

broke-broken-breaking:

prokopetz:

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

Some mammoth: *chilling, eating grass, mammothing*

Cavedude: *power walks towards them*

Mammoth: oh sIHT

cat : haha you can’t outrun me

human:

image

(via thefernhands)